It’s Hoodie Allen!

I spent my Memorial Day at work, followed by a very bizarre concert. You’ve probably never heard of Hoodie Allen, and I hadn’t until a month ago. I came across his music online and then learned that he was coming to Portland so a friend and I bought tickets – especially since the venue was 2 blocks from my apartment!

Hoodie is apparently very dedicated to his fans, so this tour was capped at 500 people per concert – tiny! Each ticket holder was guaranteed to meet Hoodie and have their photo with him. I had been tracking the concert Instagram has tag #hangingwithhoodie and it was true, everyone was uploading their meet and greet photos.

The time on the ticket said doors opened at 6pm and the concert started at 9pm. However, the first people in line arrived 35 hours before the concert and camped out to be the famous “first fans” and get a photo with Hoodie that he posts on his personal instagram. Ridiculous! My friend and I arrived at 6pm and went to the bar. We got in line at 7:30 but didn’t make it inside until 8:30! We were one of the last people in the venue. The phrase “meet and greet” suggests that you’d have a minute or two to chat, but you literally only have 15 seconds to say hi, pose for a photo, and then leave. I wanted to ask him his thoughts on collaborating with Peter Rosenberg (the Jewish DJ infamous for his feud with Nicki Minaj) and how his music is going to change as his target demographic gets older. It was clear that I wouldn’t have enough time to have this conversation so I quickly proclaimed “I APPRECIATE THAT YOU’RE JEWISH!” and all he said was “Represent.” like the total tool that he is.

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Of course, my photo was taken mid-sentence, so I’m slightly irritated by that, but mainly because he is making that stupid, vulgar facial expression. He simply smiled in every one else’s photos, but had to become a total bro in mine. Even my friend said “He totally disrespected you.” Maybe because most of his fans are 15 year old girls (where are their parents?!) and he felt he had to be on his best behavior around them, but it’s so bizarre.

My friend and I spent most of the night in the 21+ balcony since it was fairly vacant. I talked to the lead singer and guitarist of the opening band Down with Webster for awhile and even got photos with them! They gave me a free CD, too! Even though they are on tour with Hoodie, they really don’t know him and only interact with him on stage. I thought this was pretty interesting.

We made it downstairs to the floor in time for the last 3 songs, during which I danced and shoved my way to the second row – just close enough to get really blurry photos of Hoodie. During the finale, he threw cake at the audience and then doused us in water from 5 water bottles. Slightly unappreciated, but still very fun. I took some photos with some random girls who were next to me. The entire crowd was comprised of teenagers in crop tops and jean shorts! There seemed to be some sort of uniform for the concert, I guess. Afterwards, we hung around and talked to the stage hands. I got Hoodie’s set list that he taped to the stage to know what songs were coming next and my friend got the drummer’s guitar pick.

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The only downside to the night was when I got back to my apartment and realized I had lost my house key. I put it in the same pocket as my money, so I assume it fell out when I went to pay for a drink. My roommate was in Alaska on vacation and my phone had 2% battery left. I texted my coworkers and asked them to bring their phone chargers to work tomorrow so I could have some juice. I spent an hour trying to pick the lock with the only tool I had on me – a safety pin. It was unsuccessful and by this point it was 4am so I took a quick 3 hour nap and then woke up and took the bus to work. Thank god I had my debit card so I could get some cash back to pay for the bus fare. I endured a long, exhausting day at work and then came home and promptly slept the entire afternoon and night! Another fun story to add to the books.

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